Routine verus habits

Hi Everyone,

Since my visit to London and getting back home to Trinidad, I have not settled back in my routine, of running for an hour each day, writing to you in my blog, sticking to my healthy eating plan, working etc!!

Yesterday, I started to get annoyed with myself! I had an amazing January with many great outcomes and results achieved, but February appears to have ended and I don't feel as though, I have accomplished anything!! Which is not actually true, I just checked, I've completed 50% of what I set out to do.

I can see now, why I am feeling as though not much has happened. Looking at my outcomes for February, they are all about getting ready for the next wave of results!! Completing marketing materials, completing company proposals, hiring staff, meeting new clients etc. I feel stimulated by achieving results!! Sometimes you just need to get stuff done in order to achieve the results!

And I have also realized something else too!!! The routines I mentioned earlier, running, writing to you etc, are not written in my monthly. Well no wonder, I was not focusing or working on them!!!

With any change, you have to work on it for a while, before it become a habit!!!

Definition of a habit

1. regularly repeated behaviour pattern: an action or pattern of behaviour that is repeated so often that it becomes typical of somebody, although he or she may be unaware of it. http://uk.encarta.msn.com/

My new routines are not habits yet!!

You will be pleased to know, that I did go for a run this morning and felt so much better for it and I will be spending the next few hours working on the more difficult February outcomes, so that March, can be a month were results are achieved!!!

What routines are you working on? What needs to happen for them to become HABITS?

See you.

Gina

What needs are driving your behaviours?

Hi Everyone,

I am back!!! It's been 13 days, did you miss me?

I have had an amazing time, celebrating my 40th birthday!!!!

I spent my actual birthday with my mum, sister Michelle and my boyfriend Dereck in one of the National Trust homes in England. Here is the link, so you can see where we stayed http://www.nationaltrustcottages.co.uk/nt.asp?p=63&c=348

This was a very different birthday for me. Since the age of 16, I have always celebrated my actual birthday surrounded by friends and family. I was a nightmare, when it came to MY BIRTHDAY!!! Before email (yes there was a time, before email), I would do a count down of my birthday on my screen saver and I would change my answer machine message, informing all callers that it was my birthday on 10th February, so there was no excuse to say you forgot!!

Once everyone had email , there would be an email sent out every mid January reminding everyone, that the special day was coming!! And for EVERYONE who knew me, everyone knew my birthday was 10th February.

As a friend of mine, you were not allowed to do anything else on that day except celebrate with me!! I remember a dear friend of mine Richard, one year could not make the celebration due to a work commitment, so he sent me flowers to my office, as a gift with a card apologising for his absence!!!

I told you, I was a nightmare!!! At the time, I thought I was being completely reasonable!!

In 2006 I attended an Anthony Robbins seminar called 'Unleash the Power Within' and one of the areas he covered was the 6 basis human needs. A few months after the seminar, I realised that my behaviour around my birthday celebrations was not really about enjoying time with family and friends, it was more about my need for significance and certainty.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVsYiXuz1aQ

Significance and certainty had to be 'fed' at all times, these two needs drove my behaviours!!! It was quite a shock to come to this realisation.

Through the Anthony Robbins Mastery University http://www.tonyrobbins.com/MasteryUniversity/Index.aspx and other self awareness events and programs, Growth and Contribution are now my two driving human needs!!

So celebrating my birthday with my mum, Michelle and Dereck was just as enjoyable as my other birthdays.

Don't get me wrong, I still love to celebrate, I had my 40th birthday in London and Dereck and my friend Marjoliene threw me a surprise birthday party, when I got back to Trinidad. The difference is, I don't need to be surrounded by loads of people to feel loved, I know my family and friends love me. And if you can't make it or forgot, it's OK.

I carry everyone's love inside me, it does not have to be displayed physically anymore for me to know that it exists.

I love life and all it has to offer. I love myself and I am comfortable in my own skin!!!

Friends and family have noticed and commented on the change in my overall behaviour (not just regarding birthday celebrations). I have transcended and it is a great feeling.

Which of the 6 human needs are driving your behaviours?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TVsYiXuz1aQ

What impact is this having on your life and the lives of the people around you?

See you tomorrow.

Gina

Who supports you?

Hi Everyone,

Well, I am off to London for a week's vacation to celebrate my 40th birthday with family and friends.

I have lived away from London for over 7 years now and I have been blessed to still be in contact with my dear friends and family.

Even though, I am only in London on average once a year now, my ties with my family and friends is extremely strong.

We don't talk or email everyday, but when we do, it is as though, we only spoke yesterday!!!

I decided late last year, that I had to spend my birthday with the people who I grew up with, so we could share, laugh and remember things when we were youngER!! I could not have spent it anywhere else!!!

When I use the term 'friend' it is someone , who is a part of me (not an acquaintance), someone who feels me and I feel them.

My friends are my extended family. Growing up, I took on a supportive role, I was there for everyone, but I did not let others, be there for me.

But over the last few years, I have trusted myself to trust others and this has liberated me and helped my friends and my family to give me the support they always wanted to give.

For my dear friends who are reading this (some of my friends I have known for over 29 years) , and my family (Mum, Michelle, Junior, Dora and Dereck)........

I love you with all my heart, you have supported me and loved me and this is priceless.

Here's to the next 40 plus years!!!

See you after 10th February!!!!

Gina

What have you been doing?

Hi Everyone,

Well, next week Tuesday, 10th February will be my 40th birthday!!!

I was chatting with my friend Oneka, who turned 40 in December and we were laughing that we did not feel, like we had been around for 40 years!!! We laughed and said, 'What have we been doing for all those years!!! '

So, this got me thinking, what had I been doing? At first I thought, 'Not much!!' But the more I reflected, I realised that I have done a lot over the last 39 years!!!

• Became House Captain at school
• Graduated from University
• Started working in my then chosen field - Finance
• Started driving
• Got married
• Qualified as an Accountant
• Joined one of the leading Accountancy firms
• Got divorced
• Became Senior Manager
• Bought my own home
• Changed career to become a Change Management Consultant
• Moved to Trinidad
• Met Dereck
• Worked in Trinidad, Jamaica, Canada and Africa
• Went to Disneyland
• Commenced developing my coaching skills
• Started my own companies
• Learnt to love myself
• Enjoying everyday and all life has to offer
• Plus I have visited all 5 continents

So, by taking a quick look, over the past 39 years, I can see that I actually have been quite busy and I have enjoyed myself.

I have been blessed. I love the poem footprints http://www.wowzone.com/fprints.htm, it is one of my favourite poems.

There were some really rough and tough times during the last 39 years, (when God carried me)but I realised a few years ago, that everything that happened has made me stronger, made me love life and myself sooooooo much more and everything happened for a reason..

So, I am excited about the next 40 plus years. What will be in store for me? One thing for sure, I am going to enjoy the ride to the fullest!!!!

What have you been doing with your life? What can you do to ensure, that you enjoy every single day, that you have been blessed with?

See you tomorrow.

Gina

Eliminated!!!!!

Hi Everyone,

One of my resolutions for this year, is to eliminate 40lbs in weight!!!My bold statement.

My resolution is not loose!! when I loose weight, I always find it back again!! So this time it is being eliminated!!

My reason for eliminating this excess weight this year, is to bring physical self and mental self into positive alignment.

I have worked on improving my life over the past 3 -4 years and now it is the time for me to 'create my ideal body'. I have removed the mental baggage, so now it is time to eliminate the excess physical baggage!!

I stole this phrase 'create your ideal body' from a coach called Terri Levine, who has created a coaching program and book called 'Create Your Ideal Body' http://www.terrilevine.com/

The habit I had to to stop, was to STOP comfort and habit eating (habit eating i.e. eating while driving, eating while working, eating because I am watching TV etc)

And the new habit is to eat consciously and to drink water when I feel hungry first.

I have been working away from home for the last three weeks and I have run for an hour everyday except Sundays ,and the visible results from these new behaviours have been.......

8lbs and 6 inches eliminated in 3 weeks!!!

My routine will change after Friday, as I am leaving to go to London to celebrate my 40th birthday with my family and friends!!! My boyfriend Dereck arrives on Sunday!!! Then I will be back in Trinidad after that, so I need to work out (no pun intended), how I will keep my new habits in a changing environment!!! I will think it through and share them with. I would love to hear , if you have any ideas too.

How are your resolutions progressing? What are your visible signs of progress?

If you have not tried out my BEHAVIOURS approach for your resolutions, or any change you are making, then check out the formula in my first ever published posting - January 26th 2009.

See you tomorrow.

Gina

What's Cooking?

Hi Everyone,

On the treadmill this morning, I was listening to an interview on my ipod with a lady called Gregory Anne http://midlifewithavengeance.com/ who has combined her culinary and coaching skills and has a business, where she helps women in their midlife stay fit and healthy.

During the interview, Gregory Anne stated if you want to know how you work, look at the way you cook. I thought about this for a moment and it actually made sense.

When I cook, (I don't do it very often, as my wonderful boyfriend Dereck, does most of the cooking) I used to have everything on the counter top, several things going on at one time and if it is in the week, I would be normally running between the laptop and the pots!!! I would be also be banging cupboards, pots and tasting everything as I go!!

When I compare this to how I used to work, it is actually quite similar. I would have papers around me, with scribbles and notes, I would have email open and I would switch regularly between emails and the work I doing.

Dereck can normally tell, if I have been working and cooking in between. He says he can taste it, 'the love is missing!!' This makes sense, in that my focus was not on the cooking, hence it was not my best and the same applies to my work. If my mind is on several things, I don't produce my best work.

So now, if and when I do cook, I stop working and concentrate on one thing and guess what? The meal is cooked faster, I am not stressed out, and my work gets completed too. This works for me, as I am not a great mutli tasker.

So how do you cook? And how are these habits, showing up in other parts of your life?

And if you don't like cooking or don't cook, how are these habits showing up in your life?

Whcih habits help you and which ones don't?

What can you put in your recipe for success?

See you tomorrow.

Gina

Break it up into bite size pieces

Hi Everyone,

I hope you are having or had a great weekend.

When does change become easy?

When it becomes normal, i.e. accepted.

The theories that talk about change are based on 'Elizabeth Kubler Ross, '5 stages of Grief' Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. http://rule-of-thumb.net/2008/09/26/the-change-curve/

About two years ago, I was working abroad with a team in the oil industry and we worked 28 days on and 28 days off. Yes, 28 days straight, for 11 -12 hours per day!!! Saturday and Sunday is just another work day and that includes Christmas Day!!! I was in a meeting on Christmas Day at 9.00 am!!! When I said to my friend Barry, I can't believe we are working on Christmas Day, he said 'Christmas begins at 2.30 pm !!!' DENIAL

And when I started this assignment, I used to count the days!!! It was really hard going at first, being away from home for so long and with people you did not know and nothing familiar around you.

Two weeks into my first month, I hit a wall. I was tired, missing home ANGER

Eventually I said to myself (yes I do talk to myself!!!I know you do too). You are not helping yourself and you are not a quitter, so how will you make this work?' BARGAINING

'I am not sure that I can do this for a year!!!!' DEPRESSION

This thoughts kept going round and round in my head, then I said 'It's a month on and a month off. Therefore in reality, I only had to do this for 6 months!! I was half way through my first month, therefore I only had 5 months left. OK, I can get through 5 months!!!' ACCEPTANCE

Once I had broken this down into bite size pieces, it was much easier to swallow!!

It reminds of something I heard, when I first starting in consulting'

'How do you eat an elephant?' '

'Piece by piece!!!'

By the end of my second month, everything was fine. Then before I knew it, the year was over!!! I really enjoyed the year and I also grew both personally and professionally.

What are you facing, that is making you feel overwhelmed?

What bite size pieces can you create, that will help you to see your clear path forward?

Oh, guess what? I am working here again for a little while!!! I have one week left and the previous three weeks have flown by. When asked to come back, I was happy to accept. It's does not feel like change anymore, it feels normal!!

See you tomorrow

Gina